he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
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