just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
