I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
