I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
