He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
