my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
