oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
