I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
this will be a night to untag.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
