It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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