Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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