this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
