I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
it was like his penis was on wheels.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
