a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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