Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
