it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
