i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
