she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Sext me about skeletons
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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