I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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