I'm lost and stupid without you.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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