blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
