have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
