She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize