Plan B is the new Plan A
Apparently you make a good broom.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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