I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
