she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
