We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
