You smell like stripper and shame
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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