OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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