we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
