Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
