Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
lets start a swedish sibling band together
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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