It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
