I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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