I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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