i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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