ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We talked him into tasing himself.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
