I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
