doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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