curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
