I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
