I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
