i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
