Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
