No, drunk sperm still make babies.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
