Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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