From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
