So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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