worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
