Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
