Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
