You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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