just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
