he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
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