He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Did I show you my penis last night?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
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