i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize