Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
