Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
