After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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