It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
