I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
