operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just googled if crying burns calories
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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