Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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