halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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